With so many software projects getting a "Code of Conduct", I looked near and far to find the true, ultimate list of rules that every programmer should follow. After trodding through the peaks of the internet, I finally reached the REAL code of conduct on an anonymous image board. Here it is in all its glory.

1. All devs must kill at least one mountain lion every week.
2. All devs must have sex with a nubile 14-year-old girl every day.
3. All devs must demonstrate the capability to solve the halting problem while snorting coke off a hooker's ass.
4. No blacks.
5. The dev responsible for donut and pizza procurement will be switched on a rotating basis.
6. The best band ever is Daft Punk.